Turkey Trot

Another race in approximately 6 weeks. This one benefits Sheltering Arms- a non-profit helping the elders and their family caregivers. This is a win-win run. I win because I run first thing in the morning before devouring a Thanksgiving feast. The organization wins because of the donations that hopefully you all give.

On another note, entering in all of these runs keep my energy level up. I may not look like I am getting in any shape but I do feel good about myself!

Please donate if you can...any bit helps.

Thank you!

Not made of honor

What exactly is a Maid of Honor (MoH)? According to The Knot, the MoH acts as a support system for the Bride, implement the Bride’s wishes, helps out with planning non-wedding day events, and blah, blah, blah. The MoH is generally a person that is close to the bride, understands the bride, and most of all, and values their relationship with the bride- seeing that the bride obviously chose the individual for a reason. Is it necessary to have a MoH? Of course not! It is based on the preference of the bride (not an obligation) and if the bride feels that there are no individuals that she knows that would fill the role or uphold the “Honor” in the title of MoH, then so be it. The bride may not need for the individual to carry-out wishes or help in the non-wedding day even planning. The bride may simply want her “support” standing next to her on the wedding day, sharing the tears of joy, and to show “Honor” to the bride.

Dictionary.com associates “Honor” as integrity, distinction, high respect, etc. But should honor be a one way street (i.e. bride honors individual yet individual has no regards for bride)? Absolutely not! If the valuation is not reciprocated then the bride must reevaluate the role of the individual on her special day. Certainly the bride would not want to look back on one of the best days of her life to remember that the individual standing next to her was someone who had no regards for the bride. Some may say that the stress of wedding planning may mask what the true relationship is between the bride and the MoH (or potential candidate). Perhaps the MoH honors and respects the relationship that they have with the bride. Perhaps the MoH appreciate and values the bride. Perhaps the MoH has always been the support system that the bride needed, even before the engagement. Whatever the case may be, the bride must take a step back and reexamine instances and events that transpired. Look beyond just wedding related events. Has the MoH’s actions been consistent throughout the relationship? Has the MoH been available to the bride? Has the MoH ever reciprocated or appreciated anything that the bride has done for them?

It is prudent that the bride chooses an individual that will maintain, justify and promote the term “Honor” in the title “Maid of Honor”. Howbeit, having a MoH is not mandatory but an honored friend standing next to the bride the day of would be choice.

Team Betty, Set, Go!

Hi Readers,

I know that we just met but I am writing to you as one female to another female. Several times a year I commit my time to participate and fundraise for non-profit organizations. Earlier this year I ran in the Violence Against Women, raising funds for women in the Houston area who are trying to start over from an unhealthy relationship. My aunt has just been diagnosed with breast cancer a few weeks ago and on her behalf I will be running in the Komen Race for the Cure next weekend.

One in eight women will be stricken with breast cancer in her lifetime and the more we raise, the more the Komen Houston Affiliate of the Susan G. Komen for the Cure can give back to the community. The Komen Houston Affiliate funds vital breast cancer education, screening and treatment programs in our own community and supports the national search for a cure.

• Every $100 raised will help someone without health insurance receive a much-needed mammogram
• A donation of $250 will pay for 5 clinical breast exams
• $1,000 will help pay for 1 round of the chemotherapy drug Taxotere

If you would like to donate, your tax-deductible contribution will fund innovative outreach and awareness programs for medically underserved communities in Komen Houston and national breast cancer research. Please click on the link below to donate.

http://rfch.convio.net/site/TR?px=1778362&pg=personal&fr_id=1080&et=Gr98JWGhcvzQP7-gbQgfdg..&s_tafId=36810

Thank you so much for your time and support.

Warm regards,

Betty
Team Captain

Team Betty, Set, Go!

ahead of the game

I do not remember what my last post was about or when it was. However, I can safely assume that since the last post we have checked off majority of the items on our "things to do list".

• Photographer- DONE
• Videographer- DONE
• Florist- DONE
• Linens- DONE
• DJ- DONE
• Bridesmaid dresses- DONE

Cake will be booked in January...maybe as late as February. We have several bakeries in mind but may have narrowed it down to two.

Pros and Cons- Bakery 1

• Well known in wedding industry
• Aesthetically beautiful
• Great quality
• Taste amazing
• Expensive
• Just a cake

Pros and Cons- Bakery 2

• Different than regular cakes
• Interesting flavors (fruit offering)
• Taste amazing
• Well know in Vietnamese community
• Cheaper
• Business not ran well

Yes, I am well aware that we have over ten months until the day...BUT- I am a planner by nature, like to have things done ASAP and am very nit-picky. Do not, for once, think that I am this way because of the wedding. Unfortunately for those that are close to me knows that I am a control freak and micro-managing individual. Just last week I had a dream that I was late to my own wedding because I was too busy making sure that all the vendors did their job and did them to my expectation. I know that will not happen on the actual day because I am such a stickler to time as well.

On another note, early last month I found out that I had a lateral patellar subluxation (fancy term for dislocated kneecap). How did this happen? Maybe it was one of the hundreds of lunges or squats I did earlier in the summer, or it could have been the Zumba class, OR it could just be me goofing around. Whatever the case may be, I am suppose to be doing physical therapy and laying off of the knee- meaning, no running, dancing, jumping, squats, etc...until I get the okay from the doctor. With that said, I have been spinning that last month and this weekend I am re-starting my Zumba class- not to mention, I signed myself up for a 5K in 10 days...and after that I have another run Thanksgiving. I have not loss any weight BUT more importantly, I have not gained.

OH, before I forget, Congratulations to my good friend Anabelle and her fiancé, EJ. Finally engaged! I am so happy for them both and look forward to being there to celebrate their union.

Knot rescheduling

We had a meeting with the best wedding décor company in Houston. Our meeting was Monday, August 2^nd at 6. We get an email at 2:30 saying they need to push it back because the guy we are
supposed to meet with ran behind on his stuff. We rescheduled for August 11^th for 6. We get an email today indicating that they have a bridal show on August 11^th and cannot meet with us. SERIOUSLY? Did you not know you had an event when you rescheduled us? I’m not a genius, but when I book stuff on my calendar, whether on Google or Outlook and it shows that there is another event going on, my first thought is “Hey, I am busy at that time”. Needless to say, the meeting is canceled and I made it clear to our planner that I have no interest in meeting with the company or dealing with them ever again. The only bummer is, this company is located near this awesome Thai grocery store that has a small restaurant in there. We were planning on having take-away from there after the meeting for a delicious dinner….

OH, random discussion between David and me the other day “How do vendors get chose for those The Knot awards?” We honestly think that they have to pay for some advertising or pay something to get one of these plexiglass “awards”. We have met with some vendors that have these “awards” who we find are very questionable….

DIY

Over the past several weeks David has been exchanging emails with a Photography/Videography company. One of the last emails asked about expedited turn around time for the video (approximately 5 months time). The reason I wanted the video this fast was because approximately 5.5 months after we are wedded, we are planning to take our honeymoon/trip to Vietnam (VN) and wanted to take the video to my grandmother. The company indicated that they did not want to jeopardize the integrity of the final product and would not be able to finish in that short amount of time. I called my mom last night to ask her if we were still planning to go to VN around the tentative date, since she would be with us for the first week before we take off to go exploring. I explained to her the video situation and she responded with, “Well, we didn’t want to worry you and this is why I didn’t say anything sooner, but your dad is getting laid off. The VN trip may be delayed now.” Not worry? It’s instinctual to worry! My dad got on the phone and try to tell me that is was not a big deal and the main thing that we (including them) should worry about is the wedding. How can I possibly think about the wedding and spending this kind of change when my dad will not be working? My dad will be 60 this Sunday and it will be much harder for him to find a job, especially with knowing only 1 trade. Well, I am grateful that at least my mom got over her illness while they had medical insurance.

I think (and am almost positive) that the day that David asked my dad for permission to marry me, my mom and dad have been planning and putting all of their interest and energy into the matter. My mom got her entire outfit planned out for the day of almost 2 years in advance. My dad had his own checklist for us almost 2 years out. My mom and dad made a guest list almost immediately after we got engaged. I am overjoyed that they love David so much and want the best for the event, but I really want them to step it down a notch now with what has transpired.

These next couple of weeks David and I will really have to think about what to do as far as vendors goes and what is a necessity for the wedding. Although my parents are not paying for the wedding, they have offered us a monetary gift. We need to reassess the overall game plan so that we can help out my parents. This most likely means to re-evaluate each vendor (thank goodness we have not signed major contracts yet with the exception of the venue and planner) and maybe visit some more for the better price or consider a lesser quality. Maybe now I can find my inner Martha Stewart.

Counting down...

Whoop! Whoop! 365 days from now we would be in the middle of our Vietnamese Ceremony at this very moment.

I've been trying to gather up some information from my mom to do a post about the ceremony – or at least the ceremony that we will be doing. Hope to have it soon.

Not so desperately seeking...

Dear Potential Vendors of all sizes, locations, and types:

In order to earn our business and our referrals, my (ours) requirement from any vendor is promptness. Promptness for correspondences, appointments, and turnaround time for final product.

Correspondence: I have worked with customers/clients my entire life. Regardless of my schedule or workload, I ALWAYS respond to the client within 2 business hours. I feel that it is one of the most essential factors that keeps the clients happy and keeps them returning to the business. Even if I respond to the client indicating that I will need more time to look into the item, at least I give them the assurance that I have acknowledged their request.

Appointments: Nothing is more disrespectful than to think that one person’s time is more valuable than the next person’s. “If you are early you are on time. If you are on time you are late. If you are late- don’t bother coming”. I wish everyone lived by this rule. My parents, however, takes this to the extreme. One time we agreed to meet at a restaurant at 5:30 for dinner. My parents called me at 4:45 and says “We’re here, where are you at?”. REALLY? Despite the stereotypes of Asians are usually late you can always count on my parents to be there and ready to go at least 30 minutes early. David and I are usually at least 15 minutes early. Nothing bothers us more than someone that is late. Wait, cross that out. Nothing bothers us more than someone running late and informing us after the fact that they are already late to let us know they are running late.

Turnaround:

Us: How long will this take?
Them: About 2 weeks.
Us: Great, thanks.

3 weeks later….(insert chirping crickets)

Us: Hi, is my item ready?
Them: Sorry, not yet. Maybe another 2 weeks?

**sigh** If you give me a time table of when an item will be completed, please stick to that time table. Ideally (and this is what I always do), if something generally takes 2 weeks add some cushion time, like an extra week. No one can predict problems that may come up such as weather, delivery, technology errors, family emergencies…but with the cushion time everyone should end up satisfied. If you cushioned your table to 4 weeks and I get my product back in 2, extra double fudge brownie points for you. If you tell me 2 weeks and it takes 6 weeks to get the item back, 1) you better had called me to let me know there will be a delay so I can make arrangements; 2) you better have a pretty good excuse; 3) if 1 & 2 was not done, you better hope I am happy when I come and pick up my product. #3 is not a threat, just more of an FYI ;)

Sincerely,

Not necessarily Wedding Vendor seekers but all general vendor seekers

Customer Service FAILED

Met with another videographer this weekend. We saw some stuff online and thought maybe the final product on the disc may be better. It was one of the worse meetings we have experienced during the wedding planning process. Our wedding planner wasn’t able to attend the meeting but followed-up with us soon after. I had my FH respond to her because it may have seem to be exaggerated by me or that I had Bridezilla syndrome. Here is a copy of the response. I “XXXXX” names/Company and such out to avoid slander/libel accusations.

Audrey,

Have you spoken with XXXXX yet about the meeting? We are about 99% sure we won't be using XXXXX for video.You can stop reading now or continue for an in-depth breakdown of the meeting.

I am wondering if his body language would have been the same if you had been present. He was almost ten minutes late, and when he arrived, he seemed to be a bit standoffish. He began our discussion by saying you weren't sure about the date of our wedding, which I had a hard time believing. And, he said that you didn't provide him with any information other than our name, a $1500 budget and two possible dates, of which you couldn't verify the actual wedding date. One of the next things out of his mouth was that he would go over our day with us, but we couldn't get much for a $1500 budget. He made no attempt to say what he could do, and let us decide if we saw the additional value in that service.

He said that he had done Vietnamese weddings before and was clueless as to what the table toasting was. Additionally, in regards to the table toasting, he said that we would be very lucky people if we could get someone to video the entire thing. I have an additional problem with that. Why on earth would it matter WHAT he was videoing so long as it was all in the expected time of our reception?

Again, he suggested that with a $1500 budget, we wouldn't be getting much. I was just short of needing to coerce him into giving me an actual quote.

Then, he literally wanted to argue with Betty about whether she wanted a Lion dance or a Dragon dance as if he knew so much more about her culture than her. And, to be honest so what if he did (which he didn't). Arguing with the bride to be didn't seem like any way to draw in business. After, finally conceding it didn't matter whether it was dragon or lion dance, he said he could film it for an additional charge. I'm still wondering what is additional about it. I'd like to add that he never conceded that she MAY be correct - only that the correctness wasn't of importance for our discussion.

Betty and I know lots of smokers, and we are fine with smokers. We aren't fans of the actual cigarette smoke, though. He smelled like he smoked an entire pack of cigarettes in a closet right before walking through the front door. That could have been what he was doing with his extra 10 minutes while we were waiting.

We watched his videos online and both thought they lacked lighting. At the conclusion of our meeting he asked if we could think of anything to make his video/products better. Betty noted that she would like the option for continuous play of the documentary from beginning to end without being forced to watch three highlight videos. And, I noted that I thought they lacked light. He dismissed our input by saying he's been doing video for X number of years, and he's never had a single complaint; so, they must be fine. Why ask if you aren't taking it to heart. He said it must be my monitor (I watched on three different machines before the meeting.); however, the final product DVD he brought also lacked light. He said it was probably the device (His portable DVD player). So, I asked if I could take the DVD to my home to watch it on my Tv. He gave it to me free of charge, but added that it looked great on his 52" plasma; basically, to me, saying that if it doesn't look good at my home, it is probably because of inferior equipment.

ALL in ALL he wanted $4500 to shoot the wedding, and later said it may only be $3500 because he refused to shoot at Hotel Derek in HD.

To be honest, we haven't seen the DVD on our TV yet because we pretty much decided to not go with XXXX ONE second after walking out the door.

Sincerely,
David (and Betty)

P.S.: I did not exaggerate. You can discuss it with him if you like, but that's his it went down. If you do discuss further with him, I'd be very interested to see/hear any rebuttals he made to my claims.

coupon clipper

Narrowing down videographers and photographers. Why are they so expensive??? I get it, you generally get what you pay for (my mom says "you get for what you pay"), but some of these photographers make me think that they are trying to make money off of a hobby they have yet to master. Some of the videos we’ve seen looks like something you see in a theater while some looks a VHS recording of a VHS recording.

Wedding photos and videos, to me, are one of the more important expenses for a wedding. They capture all the moments that you are too busy to see. They also capture the moments that can only happen once. With that said, I still do not want to spend more than our set budget, no matter how great the photos and videos are.

My cousin’s wedding was this past weekend. We were still contemplating on doing the Vietnamese ceremony but after my cousin’s wedding, it seems as though my family has decided that we are doing the traditional ceremony in addition to the western civil ceremony that evening. Now we have to talk to his family and fill them in on what is done and what to expect. Hopefully giving them 12 months notice and education will make the 30 minute traditional ceremony run smoothly. Also, because of the additional ceremony, we will need extra hours for photos and videos…so that will play a part on which company(ies) we chose.

fatty fatty 2x4

I am 5’3 and weigh 145. Yes, I am big for my size but my family (not just mom and dad but the entire family) acts like I am Shamu or something. I work out at least 3 times a week now, consume about 1300 calories a day, very low sodium intake, drink only water, and no junk food…but still in idle mode for the longest time. Told my mom I had hypothyroidism that slows down the metabolism and blah blah blah….she blames my weight on it. Told my mom about my allergy problems…again, blames the weight….

Found out the other day my mom told my sister who weighs 120lbs at 5’3, that she is getting fat and needs to lose weight.

Glad I ordered my wedding dress larger than what it should be.

Ouchie!

Okay, this past week I endured 3 days of boot camp (MWF) at 5:15 a.m., did a Zumba class on Saturday (I made Elaine looked good!), and a 13.5 mile bike ride in 100 degree weather today. My body aches, my left knee is acting up, and overall, I feel great! This week I will be adding cycling classes into the mix.

I have come to realized that I may never be the size 6 that I dreamed of, but if I can get my body fat percentage down to 20% and still be a size 8 then I will be thrilled. I love food too much but there should be a balance. I have always had great cholesterol levels and my blood pressure is outstanding but that is not what my family sees when they first see me. It doesn't matter how long since it's been since I've seen my family- the first thing they always say relates to my appearance. Aunts, uncles, cousins, extended family...And the family actually gets upset over it. How do I apologize for not being the size 2 like the rest of my family?

What did I get myself into?

So...I signed up for 1 month of boot camp and 5 zumba classes. Hopefully I don't kill myself. I went from running 2-3 times a week and cycling class the first quarter of this year and now I am barely getting off my ever expanding bum. After finals I decided to take a week off as a relaxation break. The week after I ran for 3 miles. 2 weeks later (this past weekend actually), I did a 12 mile bike ride. It's still not enough. I want active Betty back...especially now that there are 13.5 months left and counting.

BTW, we got a wedding planner. It was David's idea. I was semi-against it since it was additional cost that we did not need to incur.

In search of...

Finals- done!

Starting next week (or the week after or June 1st) I will hit the ground running with wedding stuff. Hopefully, it will work out better than my "diet". The last time I did anything active was about 2 weeks ago when I ran and did some tabata squats. Those tabata squats will kill you. It looked easy peasy online but once I started, I was huffing and puffing by my 4th set.

On another note, David suggested that we hire a wedding planner. To me, it is a great idea BUT it is also an added expense that we do not have funds for. Reluctant, I searched Wedding Wire and contacted 2 different planning companies. The 3rd company was a preferred vendor of our venue. Off the bat, I informed all 3 companies that I was Vietnamese-American and the David was white and we wanted some eastern flare in our western event. It's Houston, so we are bound to find someone that is familiar with the Vietnamese culture or event (fingers crossed).

Blame Game

David (Fiancée) gave me bronchitis. When I told everyone that I blamed him for bronchitis, he says that although it is possible that he gave it to me, in the last 5 years that we’ve been together I may have gotten him sick as well. Hrmph!

This summer would be 5 years that we would have been together and it will be just over 6 when we finally get hitched. We met fall of 2003, a few weeks before a Halloween party at the bar that I worked at. I worked the day shift as a bartender and he was friends with some of the regulars and the night staff. As he came in more frequently during my shifts, we got to know each other and eventually became best friends. We would talk to each other quite often despite the fact that we were dating other people at the time. In May 2005, both of our leases were up with our current roommates (and coincidentally both of our roommates moved out of town), we decided to get an apartment together. 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, roommate style floor plan. It really did start out as a roommate situation, but living together and spending more time together made us realized that we belong with one another.

just over 15 months...

Most people are planners. Those who one know me, knows I am the ultimate planner. But when it comes to wedding planning and a girl who is not so girly , I'm am not sure how well this will go.

We got engaged on June 28, 2008. When he asked my parents for my hand, they made him promised that I would be close to graduating college...which at my current rate will be December 2011. According to TheKnot.com we have 461 more days to go for our July 23, 2011 wedding in Houston, Texas.

Since June 2009, we have looked at over 10 venues in Houston, both hotels and freestanding venues. Learned a lot about linens, drapery, room rental, food and wine minimum, catering, and the poor response times of some of these venues. Not a Zilla yet, but...if an email is sent on a Monday, receiving a response by Wednesday NIGHT, is not acceptable in my book.

So just over 15 months from getting married and we have already booked our venue. It is a local boutique hotel in Houston. Took us by surprise, because we never thought that we would have been able to get what we want from this venue without having to make sacrifices. Happy to say that we both took a day off on a Thursday (playing hooky to attend a job fair), ate a fabulous lunch at Narin's Bombay Brasserie , and then stopped into our future to-be-signed wedding venue.

Needless to day, we signed the venue 3 weeks ago. Yes, just under 16 months before the wedding, we booked our venue. AND, yesterday (still over 15 months from the date) I ordered my wedding dress. HOWEVER, I ordered the dress 1 size larger than what I needed for my just in case (JIC) stress weight to be gained (hopefully not!).

Here is today's problem...I am the first American born Vietnamese in the history of my family (tree and branches and treelings). I am the oldest of 2 girls. I will be the first person to get married between the 2 of us. My fiancé is White. Good Ol corn fed white boy. Although I consider my self quite Americanized, I want to incorporate my Vietnamese traditions into our wedding. As of now, we are doing the civil ceremony at the hotel and reception at the hotel. The only thing we have is the greeting of the tables. I have been debating on the Tea Ceremony since it is hard to explain all of the quirks and traditions to the future in-laws. I've sent his step-mother, mother and my fiancé Videos and websites that explains the ordeal, but to me, I am almost afraid that it may seem like a burden to them.

In the meanwhile, I am still looking for ao dais (traditional outfits) for my girls and myself. My mom is going to VN this fall and if we are going to go through with the Vietnamese ceremony, I will need my girls measured to have their dresses made.